Reflection on Good Friday

Today while reading Psalm 22 I thought this way

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?
    Why are you so far away when I groan for help?
Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer.
    Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief.

Jesus also said this on the cross, He felt the separation of sin from His Father, not his sin but ours. For sin separates us from a Holy Father.

However it seemed to me very true for me and others at this time. For years I have been unwell and struggling, finding no answer. Just as many feel now during this C19 crises.

Yet you are holy,
    enthroned on the praises of Israel.
Our ancestors trusted in you,
    and you rescued them.
They cried out to you and were saved.
    They trusted in you and were never disgraced.

Yet like Israel of old, I know that God does answer. Often it’s me not hearing Him. When I really listen I do hear Him tell of His love for me and just how much He loves what I can do for Him. He has shown me using T-lights just how important even a small light is in the darkness.

Jesus the son also knew that the Father had not given up on Him but that He had a mission to do, He had to suffer for others and only by doing so could we know thta God understood what we lived through.

But I am a worm and not a man.
    I am scorned and despised by all!
Everyone who sees me mocks me.
    They sneer and shake their heads, saying,
“Is this the one who relies on the Lord?
    Then let the Lord save him!
If the Lord loves him so much,
    let the Lord rescue him!”

I have had people in hospital ask how can you still believe when God left you like this?

However it is for occasions like that that God has allowed my suffering to go on. I might look lost and forgotten but the Father has not stopped using me to further His purposes.

Yet you brought me safely from my mother’s womb
    and led me to trust you at my mother’s breast.
10 I was thrust into your arms at my birth.
    You have been my God from the moment I was born.

I had a traumatic birth and should have died but you were with me even if I did not know it. You have loved me since before I was born and long before I knew much about you. I rejected you and went my own way for years and still you watched over me. 

11 Do not stay so far from me,
    for trouble is near,
    and no one else can help me.
12 My enemies surround me like a herd of bulls;
    fierce bulls of Bashan have hemmed me in!
13 Like lions they open their jaws against me,
    roaring and tearing into their prey.
14 My life is poured out like water,
    and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart is like wax,
    melting within me.
15 My strength has dried up like sunbaked clay.
    My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
    You have laid me in the dust and left me for dead.

With Chronic fatigue my strength left me years ago, caused by my PID and other health issues. Often my life does feel it is like water hard to get hold off and my body as difficult to use as hard clay. Some days I feel like I have been left for dead. I can also see how Jesus felt this as He was lead to the cross. His life blood pouring out as His body suffered and died.
16 My enemies surround me like a pack of dogs;
    an evil gang closes in on me.
    They have pierced[a] my hands and feet.
17 I can count all my bones.
    My enemies stare at me and gloat.
18 They divide my garments among themselves
    and throw dice[b] for my clothing.

Imagine hanging on a cross and seeing what little you own being divided up my those killing you. You are surrounded by crowds who are baying for your death. All because you wanted to help them, you wanted them to see how things should be rather than how they are. You wanted to change the world so that the poor, sick, needy, widows, orphans and foreigners were treated the same as the wealthy. 

Still that continues as your people try to change the world to follow your ways and look after those left behind. 

19 Lord, do not stay far away!
    You are my strength; come quickly to my aid!
20 Save me from the sword;
    spare my precious life from these dogs.
21 Snatch me from the lion’s jaws
    and from the horns of these wild oxen.

Jesus was not saved because He had to save us by dying. However God has saved me from death more than once, pulling me back from the jaws of death. He has become my strength over the last 20 years, He aids me through each day. 

22 I will proclaim your name to my brothers and sisters.[c]
    I will praise you among your assembled people.
23 Praise the Lord, all you who fear him!
    Honor him, all you descendants of Jacob!
    Show him reverence, all you descendants of Israel!
24 For he has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy.
    He has not turned his back on them,
    but has listened to their cries for help.

On Sunday the disciples will go from fear of loss and death to proclaiming the wonders of God’s grace and mercy. I do that on the back of all He has done for me since I found that Jesus lives and loves me.

25 I will praise you in the great assembly.
    I will fulfill my vows in the presence of those who worship you.

26 The poor will eat and be satisfied.
    All who seek the Lord will praise him.
    Their hearts will rejoice with everlasting joy.
27 The whole earth will acknowledge the Lord and return to him.
    All the families of the nations will bow down before him.
28 For royal power belongs to the Lord.
    He rules all the nations.

The aim of God’s plan is that the poor will eat, that all who seek Him through Jesus will praise Him. That they will receive the Holy Spirit and learn to praise Him in their hearts always. Jesus is Lord of the world, the King of the nations. Governments rule under Him and with His authority they are called upon to look after the poor,weak, sick, homeless, widow, orphen, foreigner and refugee to love their neighbour as themselves they will be judged by how they do that as will His people.

29 Let the rich of the earth feast and worship.
Bow before him, all who are mortal,
all whose lives will end as dust.
30 Our children will also serve him.
Future generations will hear about the wonders of the Lord.
31 His righteous acts will be told to those not yet born.
They will hear about everything he has done.

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