BASH Issue 8 Ho Ho Ho

Issue 8

Ho Ho Ho

Based on the Free BASH! Ultimate Edition Adventure By Chris Rutkowsky & Michael Mikulis

Other BASH stories here

This story takes place during the Greater Bath Annual Holiday Parade, being held Christmas Eve. S.A.G.A have been invited by police chief Alvin Walker to ride in a float along with several of the cities ‘Finest’. Their presence is not purely for fun– Chief Walker always wants a super powered presence as these functions… just in case. And tonight it is a good thing he did!
Martha Millington – ‘Local reporter’ and Stretch’s secret ID fiancée, is reporting live on TV on the parade as well as being the voice those watching hear over the tannoy system.


“Well folks, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas here in Bath this evening. As you can see behind me, snow is gently starting to fall. Thank you for joining us at the 27th annual City Holiday Parade this Christmas Eve. For those just joining us, we have seen some local superheroes and some everyday heroes– officers representing the city Police Department. Coming now is the finale of our Parade, the Fifty foot-tall Nutcracker. Our Nutcracker is being pulled along by a troop of tin soldiers. The soldiers are from Bath University Drum & Bugle Corps. Weren’t they swell folks. Now the moment we’ve all been waiting for. That’s right boys & girls, Santa Claus is coming to town. The animatronic reindeer pulling Santa’s sleigh are provided by Yamashita Robotics. And now… What’s this?!! It appears there is an unscheduled event– someone has just appeared on the parade grounds…


Looking round the crew can see a husky young man, with long hair tied in a pony-tail, wearing a trenchcoat. They can just make out his T-Shirt which says, “All your base are belong to us!”.  Martha latrer hears that Air-Gril realised that it was ‘The Game Master’ a nigh-omnipotent extradimensional being who loves to make problems for superheroes and others, and causes mischief in general. The only way to stop him is to beat him at whatever “game” he devises!


Suddenly; the Games Master waves his hand and everyone but the heroes, The Games Master and myself are frozen the parade stops.

The Game Master bellows, “What’s the matter with you people? You call this entertainment? Its even more depressing that this holiday has become entirely too commercial! This isn’t what your holidays are all about! They’re all about the spirit of giving! But not to worry folks! The Game Master is going to give you a wonderful gift– the gift of lively entertainment. What do you say to that?


A moment of silence is followed by thunderous applause He continues, “Well, Heroes, I have to give the people what they want! The rules of this game are simple: You must complete three Christmas challenges. As you pass each test, I will release one third of the crowd from my gentle control! Pass all three, and I’ll be gone like a flash! Agreed? Good! For your first test, you must… SURVIVE!”
At that moment, the Fifty-Foot Nutcracker comes to life as a giant, clockwork robot! Picks up the float and tosses it into the air.  The Drum & Buglers dressed as Tin soldiers are turned into real Tin Soldiers– armed with muskets and bayonets! All of them begin to converge on the Heroes’ position! “Remember Heroes– its not the look of what you get– its what’s inside that counts!”


The Heroes respond quickly with Stretch grabs the four police officers in his arms and legs and glides with them to the ground and away from the nutcracker.  Alfa teleports to the head of the nutcracker and starts to punch it while Air-Girl gains height. The nutcracker ignores Alfa on its head and grabs the float and throws it at Stretch and the police, however Air-Girl fly’s in the way and blasts the float away smashing it up in the process. Hooray thinks Martha maybe this will be over quickly after all.

Unfortunately she was to quick and a long battle follows between the nutcracker the heroes and the tin soldier’s. Alfa takes damage from the tin soldiers until Stretch manages to clear them away, unfortunately killing one of the band members in the process even though he pulled his flurry of blows. Once the tin soldiers where out of the way it didn’t take long for the three heroes to take down the nutcracker and the first test was over and my crew along with a 1/3 of the spectators where freed from control.

The Game Master then says:
“Well Done, Super-Zeroes! It looks like I’ll be able to give these poor saps a show after all! But
what sort of show would it be with such lousy decorations?” Pointing to the city Christmas tree by the guild hall, the Game Master makes it grow to be hundreds of feet tall, dwarfing even the nearby buildings. “And what would our tree be without some ornaments?”  I suddenly disappear and reappear in an Angel costume on top of the tree. I am hanging on for dear life, and will lose my grip quickly, I try not to scream remembering that I am still broadcasting. Commenting about how every tree should have a choo-choo going around, the Game Master rips up the nearby rail tracks and puts them in a circle around the base of the tree– an unfinished circle! With a two car train full of passengers on it.


Stretch stretches his limbs and climbs up the tree to save his beloved, as he does the fairy lights start shooting laser flak at him and four giant birds fly out from the tree to protect their nest. Stretch is such a cool hero, even if a bit heavy handed some times she thinks as he avoids these dangers to get to her.  Taking hold of me he glides down to the nearest roof and gently puts me down. While Stretch was saving me Alfa teleported to the gap between the train carriages and tries to un hitch them. Air-Girl seems to make the air around the train thicker to slow it down and then creates a wall of wind to stop the second carriage which Alfa has now separated.  Alfa I am then told teleported into the carriage and told the passengers to leave by the doors while he teleported to the cabin and applied the brakes.


Then he teleported to the front carriage drivers cabin and lifted the driver out so the dead mans brakes would come on, only they didn’t.. Stretch meanwhile had become a set of bumpers at the end of the track to stop the rest of the train. However in the end he hadn’t needed to as Air-Girl with the second carraige stopped used her air wall to stop the first as well.  Second game won…


Furious that his challenge has been bested again by the Heroes, the Game Master frees the second part of the crowd from his control. Then he says: “Well, Heroes, it seems that I have not been making these challenges difficult enough! Your special gifts give you too much of an “unfair advantage”. But, as they say, it is better to give than receive.” At that moment, I see the Game Master disappear, reappearing in the place of Santa Claus from the Parade, wearing a red Santa suit. The sleigh has become a tricked-out rocket sled, and the animotronic reindeer come to life with a look of menace in their artificial eyes. A nearby snowman is also brought to life, taking on the icy appearance of Jack Frost! At that point, the Game Master speaks again, “And this reminds me of one of my favourite Christmas Traditions– the old Secret Santa gift exchange!” He waves his hand, and suddenly, you all feel very strange… “There– doesn’t it feel good to exchange gifts? Now that that’s out of the way, if you want to trade back, you’ll have to beat me, my reindeer, and my Frosty friend over here!” Air-Girl says he has swapped our bodies round and she was right. She now had Alfa’s powers and he had Stretch’s  and Stretch had hers.


The crowd and I now get to watch a super powered fight between the three heroes and Santa, Frosty and the sleigh. Air-Girl or Alfa gets confusing knocks the sleigh while The other two get caught up with Frosty who freezes them both. Then it gets confused as a giant Star turns up in the sky and the heroes struggle with the ice and snow caused by Frosty. Then Santa starts throwing parcels at Air-Girl which explode. Anyway after a short very confusing time I am told by Stretch that he got the hang of Air-Girls powers and used her air control to direct hot air at Frosty which got past his ice armour and melted him. Then it was all thee of them against Santa in a pummelling fight. Once Santa lost he disappeared and the Games Master reappeared.


Now defeated three times, the Game Master frees all the rest of the people of his mind control and disappear. The heroes breath a sigh of relief that it is done, and it was a close run thing they say. Then Alfa remembers he still has Stretch’s powers and shouts out hey you, the Game Master’s disembodied voice says, “Oh Yeah, I almost forgot– Merry Christmas” and switches their bodies back..  What a Christmas parade this reporter says, next year will have a lot to live up to. Heroes wherever they are trouble follows, its almost as if they are a magnet.  Well Happy Christmas to all our viewers from me and all those here.






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