DEALING WITH ANGER – NOTES FOR TALK ON 6TH NOV 2016


Relating to God, Relating to Others

Dealing with Anger

Notes for talk on 6th Nov 2016

 Recorded version from Service is here on the Church web site  These are only kept for a few weeks so might have been removed.

 

Readings

Psalm 4; 1 Corinthians 13 1-7; James 1 19-27; Matthew 5:20-22

Themes – How Anger damages relationships with each other and with God; How having a deep peace in our hearts, linked to Emotional Acceptance of ourselves helps us to resist getting angry; How letting go asking forgiveness, loving others helps deal with anger

 

 

  •         How many of us get angry?

Why?

What makes us angry?

 

 

Today we are looking at Dealing with Anger within how we relate to God and how we relate to others.

 

Does Anger help us relate to others?

 

Or to God?

 

  • Often we get angry due to things we see as unfair to us or to others.

 

In soaps we see very often that Anger turns to violence which stocks up more anger and more violence in a never ending cycle.

We also see this in life around us.

 

Can you think of examples?

 

 

  •  Jesus told us to Love our neighbor as ourselves.

Who is our neighbor?

 

If all people are our neighbours how can being angry with them be loving?

 

 

  • When we get angry with ourselves how do we deal with that?

 

We end up forgiving ourselves, learning from what made us angry and moving on trying to avoid that situation again.

 

 

How ever we often see that our anger with others becomes long term, why?

 

 

  •  What can we do to stop that?

Psalm 4

Don’t sin by letting anger control you.      Think about it overnight and remain silent.

 

or as Ephesians 4:

26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.”[a] Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry,

 

We need to let go of anger and let love takes its place.

 

 

 

  • Anger can be justified but only when it is in compassion from seeing others, who we are to love, being hurt.

 

Political anger should be directed at effects not people, it should be in compassion rather than harsh words or actions.

 

So we see situation in our own country or others that makes us want to do something.

So we should do something but do it in compassion not anger.

 

 

 

  •  Teaching about Anger

Our Mathew 5 reading

21 “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’[a] 22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone,[b] you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot,[c] you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone,[d] you are in danger of the fires of hell.

 

So getting angry with a driver who cuts you off or who doesn’t give way to you to is the subject to the same judgment as murder.

 

God understands that anger only leads one way and that is not towards loving our neighbor.

 

In the above situation.

You are cut up or not given space on the road, you get angry, you then do not give space or speed up and what happens?

 

 

  • James 1 : You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger[g] does not produce the righteousness[h] God desires.

 

So we are to be slow to get angry, listening and thinking first.

 

1 Cor 13

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out

 

Putting Love of others first.

 

 

Ecc 7:9  Control your temper,     for anger labels you a fool.

 

Tit 1:7  A church leader[a] is a manager of God’s household, so he must live a blameless life. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered; he must not be a heavy drinker,[b] violent, or dishonest with money.

 

We are all part of Gods household we need to be careful not to be quick tempered.

 

Something I can struggle with, particularly with those closest to me.

 

 

  • From the Notice sheet

Acting in love rather than in anger .   This is a hard thing to do, especially in a hard world. But Jesus loved even his enemies with compassion – to the end! And so, with the help of his Holy Spirit so can we. Yes, justice matters, and we long to see good truth prevail at work, in our communities, and even in our own families. But anger for justice is not the same as immediate emotional anger. It is good to seek justice with passion, but to harbour and even seek to nurture our immediate anger, cynicism and bitterness is likely to leave us in a bad place (as Jesus warned us). Standing secure in God’s truth, with a deep peace in His care for us will enable us to stand firm in the face of many things, even when we find ourselves reacting emotionally.

 

 

It is easy to hold on to anger at the system or those who are part of it rather than turning that anger into compassion and the energy to change things.  While at the same time not making it personal, making arguments personal as we often see.

 

 

 

  • Anger has a place when we see things that are unfair, or being inflected on others to make their lives hard.

 

However in loving compassion we turn that anger into action for change rather than insults, violence or hatred.

 

Jesus even forgave those who put Him on trail and then onto the cross, He did not show anger but love.

 

We control the anger and channel it into action to help.

We pray for these situations and people thereby reinforcing our relationship with God and avoid harming our relationship with others.

 

We listen to the Spirit who will direct us into the action God wants us to take.

 

We listen to those with other views and  respond in love to them.

 

Not all of us can be involved in changing government, but we can all pray, listen and vote.

Very few of us can affect the wars going on in the world but we can pray for those who can make a difference and for the victims.

 

We can reflect on how Jesus dealt with the wrong things done to him. Or how he dealt with the wrong things He say around Him.

 

He always responded in compassionate love.

We need to do the same.

 

 

Let us pray

 

Notice sheet

Acting in love rather than in anger

This is a hard thing to do, especially in a hard world. But Jesus loved even his enemies with compassion – to the end! And so, with the help of his Holy Spirit so can we. Yes, justice matters, and we long to see good truth prevail at work, in our communities, and even in our own families. But anger for justice is not the same as immediate emotional anger. It is good to seek justice with passion, but to harbour and even seek to nurture our immediate anger, cynicism and bitterness is likely to leave us in a bad place (as Jesus warned us). Standing secure in God’s truth, with a deep peace in His care for us will enable us to stand firm in the face of many things, even when we find ourselves reacting emotionally. The Psalmist wrote in Psalm 4:

‘When I call upon the Lord, he will hear me.

Stand in awe, and sin not’

Take time out when you find yourself angry! The same Psalm invites us to be still, offer our sacrifices to the Lord, and put our trust in Him. After all, as the Psalm finishes:

‘In peace I will lie down and sleep,

for it is you Lord, only,

who make me dwell in safety.’

Then we can set out to love with compassion, without letting go of the truth, and what really does matter. There is a lot of anger around at the moment, but as Christians we are called to reflect our Master Jesus, not just join in others’ angers.

 

 

 

 

1 Corinthians 13

Love Is the Greatest

13 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

 

 

James 1

19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger[g] does not produce the righteousness[h] God desires. 21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.

22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. 23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. 24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. 25 But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

26 If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. 27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

 

Matthew 5:20-22

20 “But I warn you—unless your righteousness is better than the righteousness of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven!

Teaching about Anger

21 “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’[a] 22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone,[b] you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot,[c] you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone,[d] you are in danger of the fires of hell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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